Don Stoner learned jiu-jitsu where the art first took root in the United States. He grew up in Torrance, California, the city the Gracie and Machado families settled in, and started martial arts at 13. He trained at the Rigan Machado academy from about age 15 to 21, going from blue belt to brown, spent years competing in MMA, and later moved to the Pacific Northwest. He still trains under the Machado lineage today.
Today Don runs two schools, his flagship Lone Wolf Jiu-Jitsu and a sister academy, and both lean heavily on kids programs. When he opened about eight years ago, he saw very few local schools with strong kids programs. He had been teaching children since he was a 16-year-old blue belt, so he built one. His conversation with Red Belt Podcast host Brian "Barn Cat" Debes covered how he runs classes for children.
Classroom Control Comes First
Don's kids classes are deliberately traditional. The wall holds 17 rules, and every child must memorize them. The class recites a school creed at the end of every session, covering respect, honoring parents and protecting family and freedom. A warrior's code sits alongside it.
His early classes weren't like this; kids ran off the mat and distracted each other. The program improved over eight years through steadily tighter standard operating procedures. He calls the biggest skill "controlling the room," which means keeping class from turning into a playground.
Those procedures eventually worked well enough to open a new age group. Three- and four-year-olds in his PeeWee class had younger siblings who had watched from the side for months. When he let a two-and-a-half-year-old try, the child already knew what was expected and did well. That led to a new Tinies class. The schedule now runs:
- ✓Tinies: ages 2 to 4
- ✓PeeWees: ages 4 to 7
- ✓Kids: ages 7 to 13
- ✓Teens: for 13-year-olds better suited to an older group
Inside a 45-Minute Tinies Class
The youngest class runs 45 minutes. Don tried an hour and cut it back. It opens with a bow and a few running laps, and most of the time goes to jiu-jitsu warm-ups: shoulder rolls, back rolls and breakfalls. Then comes one simple technique or position, such as a single-leg takedown or what side control means, followed by a positional drill (one child holds mount, the other tries to escape) and then games for the rest of class.
Don says the games "are the magic," because games are what keep very young children engaged. His school has a full curriculum just for games, built largely by the coach under him. Examples include:
- ✓Snake jump: a coach swings a rope along the floor; kids who get tagged do two push-ups.
- ✓Capture the flag: belts tucked behind the gi, with points for each grab.
- ✓Snake in the grass: tagged runners become snakes themselves.
Don's philosophy, reflected in the name Lone Wolf, is building independence, so parents don't join the Tinies class or coach from the side. One instructor runs a class of about seven toddlers. Brian's school uses a parent-and-child format instead. Don admits his approach loses some families. A coach may suggest waiting a year if a child isn't ready. But the toddlers who stay tend to become some of the best-behaved PeeWees and later leaders in the kids classes. This filter applies only to the Tinies; in every other program, he never gives up on a child.
Gamified Levels: Turning Technique Into a Video Game
For older kids, Don structures technique the way video games structure progress. A sequence of moves, for example a double-leg takedown, then a guard pass when the partner pulls guard, then an Americana, is broken into levels.
To clear level one, every pair in the class must do the takedown five times each, with clean technique and no playing around. An instructor checks each pair. When the whole class has passed, the kids line up in a ready stance and move on together as a team. Three levels per class is typical. Clearing them all earns the game of the day, and the kids cheer.
Brian connected this to the belt system itself, which he described as a form of gamification and a retention and tracking tool. Don ties it to what he calls "TikTok mind," the short attention span many kids now bring from screens. The goal is to keep them engaged long enough for jiu-jitsu itself to become the reason they stay. He also tells his coaches to explain why a technique matters in kid terms instead of naming famous competitors.
Don also presents the school as the parents' partner in discipline. If a child misbehaves at home, parents tell the coach, and the child can lose their belt.
Using Private Lessons to Reintegrate, Not Replace
Some kids struggle in a group setting. When parents arrive with a list of diagnoses or worries, Don usually sets most of it aside for the trial class. He pairs the newcomer with one of his experienced kid leaders, keeps a coach close and treats the child like everyone else. He says that works about 90% of the time, and many students with autism or anxiety blend in so well that nobody can tell.
When a child truly can't keep up and drilling partners suffer for it, Don meets with the parents and suggests private or semi-private lessons with a clear goal: return to group class. Privates are never meant to be permanent. He prices them far below his adult private rate, and sometimes the family just keeps paying regular tuition.
Brian added the business case: once you know a student's lifetime value, a free private that keeps a family for even two more months pays for itself. Don's experience is that many of these kids have stayed for years and become his leaders and assistant coaches. He also warns that it only works when parents are fully on board.
Key Takeaways
- ✓Structure enables fun. Memorized rules, a creed and tight procedures keep classes from becoming playgrounds and let you serve younger ages.
- ✓Games aren't filler for young kids. They're the core of the class, and they deserve a written curriculum.
- ✓Gamify technique with team "levels" that the whole class clears together before earning a reward game.
- ✓Teach the "why" in kids' terms, not by citing famous competitors.
- ✓Use private lessons as a path back into group class, and measure the retention payoff instead of chasing one-time fees.
- ✓Partner with parents on discipline, and keep the expectations for them clear.
Listen to the Full Episode
Don and Brian also discuss why brown belt is often the longest rank, the changing economics of pro grappling, and the nonprofit mentorship program Don started for kids with anxiety. Catch the whole conversation on Spotify or YouTube. If you're building a kids program and want to keep those families longer, Red Belt Software helps gym owners with student retention and growth.